the joy of the Lord with ETP

the world always tries to satisfy itself with the stuff of the world. i would say that even most christians are guilty of this, i know that i am. i have struggled with this for my whole life basically, but mostly just the last couple of years since i have gotten saved have i struggled with this because i have been convicted of this. i often find myself looking to this world to find pleasure and such, yet every time i do, i come up empty, like drinking from a dirty old cistern. only till resently have i seen the true errors of my ways and seen exactly how foolish this is. it is odd though, the things of the earth satisfy for a moment, and then you feel empty awhile later, while the things of God satisfy and also cause you to hunger more for them. the more time i spend going after god, the least i want to go after the things of this world, that cause me physical and mental pain. in 2 corinthians 12:7, paul talks of a thorn in the flesh, some ailment that god gave to him to keep him humble. i believe that i times, i have one as well. and although i do sometimes get down on myself because of it, for the most part, i realize that it is, infact, a blessing from god so that i do not sin in other ways. if god had not given me this, i would say that i might not be saved. this ailment drove me to god, and keeps me with him. it reminds me that i am human and that i fail. that i can't do it on my own, i require help from something besides myself. through this same thing though, he has brought me my best friend to help me through it. she is not always there, for she is human as well, but she is there when i really need her. she gets me through the day, and i think that god is the one who brought her into my life for this very purpose. she is constatily telling me to be positive, and although i am not most of the time, i am working on it. i am working on enjoying the process. although god has given something that some people could call a curse, it is truly a blessing. this ailment bring me to god and to true joy, and it doesn't allow me to go to all the joys of the world, but keeps me from them. and i thank god for it, for it has brought me closer to him.